The oracle’s skills are not limited to mere World Cup knock-out prophesying; here he casts his tentacles at forecasting the Formula 1 final standings
On Friday morning before practice sessions began, the vociferous Japanese supporters sprawled across the Suzuka circuit, paying tribute to one of the most supreme drivers ever to grace the rollercoaster circuit in the land of the rising sun. Ayrton Senna was adored by the influential Soichiro Honda developing an affinity with the Japanese crowd whenever he hit those shores.
This weekend five drivers are all poised and capable to emulate the great Brazilian and set up a thrilling culmination to what has been an utterly absorbing F1 season.
Here Sport.co.uk gives you a preview of what to expect at Suzuka, the implications for next week’s South Korean grand prix being cancelled and in Paul the Octopus fashion, we ponder how the prospective final standing table may look come 14 November and the end of the 2010 F1 season.
Preview – Red Bull look primed
Table-topping Mark Webber, exciting Sebastian Vettel and relentless Red Bull have been setting the pace again this weekend. In Friday’s practice sessions the two drivers topped the timing sheets, narrowly ahead of Renault’s Robert Kubica who also impressed.
In a crucial week for McLaren, currently playing catch-up in points and performance, the team have so far struggled to make much of an impression. Jenson Button could only manage 12th on the time sheets and Lewis Hamilton, in the wars of late after retiring in the two previous races, has again suffered misfortune.
A crash ruling him out of much of the practice sessions has left him poorly prepared for Sunday and an illegal gearbox change has seen him handed a five-place penalty on the grid. He will hope the notion that bad luck comes in threes rings true this weekend and he can collect some much needed championship points.
Ferrari’s Fernando Alonso who this week dubbed himself the title favourite in typically brash manner has been boosted with the momentum taken from winning the last two races, shaving the gap to within 11 points of Webber. He has valuable experience, winning at Suzuka twice.
With the withdrawal of Japanese car manufacturer Toyota from F1 this year after eight seasons, the presence of two home drivers in Sakon Yamamoto and Kamui Kobayashi is sure to crank up the intensity and interest at Suzuka.
South Korea party poopers
The news of inspectors marching into Korea is nothing new these days but on this occasion concerns have been raised in the South. Next weekend the F1 calendar has South Korea’s Yeongam marked down as the venue for round 17.
However speculation has been rife that problems with completing the circuit may render the venue unfit for the drivers and it is yet to pass an FIA inspection usually completed months before race day.
It is an alarming proposition for racing fans and the Far Eastern investors who were expecting 2010 would be the year South Korea was added to the four other Asian venues that make up this intoxicating globe-trotting season.
Nevertheless, the dilemma has potentially shortened the race calendar to only three remaining races. Japan, Brazil and Abu Dhabi will host the other three final grand prix. For teams and drivers last season’s memories and results are sure to play a fascinating part in determining who gets pole, who skids into the tyres from the start and who will ultimately be finishing 2010 as World Champion.
Paul the Octopus predicts
If this eventuality comes to fruition the experiences at the same venues last season may prove a psychological advantage. Donning the role of Paul the Octopus we have put two and two together to get the final standings (based on last year’s results) for the 2010 Formula 1 season.
If we attribute this season’s points to their positions at Suzuka, Interlagos and Yas Marina and tot them up with their current haul it makes for an intriguing final table with only one point separating the top two. Remember 25 points for 1st, 18 for 2nd and 15 for 3rd.
Webber is in the proverbial pole position sitting on top of the standings table with 202 points. He struggled in Japan last year, waltzed to the chequered flag in Brazil and second spot in Abu Dhabi; ergo Paul predicts the Australian will collect 43 points from the three races this year.
Alonso, currently holding second place, disappointed at the culmination of last year, taking only the solitary point from the three races after finishing 10th in Japan.
Hamilton began showing signs that McLaren’s technical team had recovered from their woeful start making it onto the podium in 3rd place twice yet did not finish in Abu Dhabi. He ultimately came away with 36 points from the corresponding venues.
Vettel excelled when it came to crunch time. The brazen German finished first at Suzuka last season, 4th in Brazil and top spot again at Yas Marina collecting 65 points.
Finally, Button did just enough to hold onto the top spot overall – largely due to his blistering start to the season – managing to scrape together 29 points from an 8th, 5th and 3rd result respectively.
Final scores
Now to our mollusced mate. Paul…what are the scores?
You couldn’t make this up, or perhaps we just have: Alonso can only muster 192 points overall. Button didn’t do enough with 206. Fellow Brit Hamilton paid for those retirements, amassing 218. And so, drum roll please…separating the Red Bull drivers by the narrowest of margins, Webber collects 245 to the 246 of the young German, and new Formula 1 World Champion, Sebastian Vettel!
FYI the final standings for the two teams in the frame would finish McLaren, 424 points, Red Bull, 491 points. World domination awaits the feisty German, team principal Christian Horner and that drink that gives you wings.
Drivers’ Championship: Fernando Alonso 192 | Jenson Button 206 | Lewis Hamilton 218 | Mark Webber 245 | Sebastian Vettel 246
Constructors’ Championship: McLaren 424 | Red Bull 491
Football pundits – Ultimate XI
18 03 2009The best pundits, critics, presenters and commentators for the game we all know and love.
As you may have noticed, I have a bit of an issue with ex-professional sportsmen just hanging up their boots, walking into a newsroom, and being handed a top quality job on a plate. I mean John Barnes is the most hopeless pundit there has been on TV, even if it was only on channel Five, and David Pleat doesn’t have a clue but just loves messing about with that chalkboard feature at The Guardian.
But anyway, I decided to set this feud aside for the moment, and evaluate the contributions of those in the media to our football viewing pleasure. Who do we appreciate (see below) and who are best forgotten (see above and Mark Lawrenson).
BOB PRIMROSE WILSON (GK) – A stalwart of British football broadcasting on BBC and ITV. His dignified refined manner and caring charitable spirit have earned him an OBE, yet with a middle name being the source of ridicule in the past, a savage side boils just under the surface. A keeper with a complex makes a much more dangerous proposition, so don’t expect any charity in the commentary box Lowro or to get away with any mumblings from Mr Pleat. He won’t take no shit.
ALAN HANSEN (CB) – A wise old head at the back who is still repenting for his comments: “You’ll never win anything with kids”. But thereby lies his value. He’d have plenty to prove to the young start ups coming into the punditry world like that Jamie ‘one suit, Andy Gray suck up’ Redknapp.
MARCEL DESAILLY (CB) – With heart on his sleeve performances and sheer jubilance on the touch lines before a big game, it is clear he’s just happy to be there. Rubbing shoulders with a plethora of footballing greats across Europe and Africa, he has combined a French panache with his Ghanaian gusto to enthrall viewers the world over.
Soccer AM’s TIM LOVEJOY and HELEN CHAMBERLAIN (RB and LB) – Their partnership for the better side of a decade on the Saturday morning show, witnessed more often than is healthy with a pounding dehydrating hang over, did more to whet the appetite for a weekend of football festivities than a lifetime supply of gobstoppers. With these two flanking the hard nuts in the centre, their enthusiasm and joviality would invigorate the Pundit XI, though their repeated attempts at the Cross-Bar challenge could disrupt proceedings slightly.
JEFF STELLING (Captain and CM) – With a patented drinking game and forays into day time TV on Countdown, Jeff’s international recognition would be priceless for shirt sales and merchandising. His ability to orchestrate his comrades every frantic Saturday afternoon and his loyal devotion to his hometown club Hartlepool have solidified his symbolic stature and role model capabilities for generations to come.
CHRIS KAMARA (CM) – “It’s unbelievable Jeff!” Chris Kamara truly is just that. A hard man on the pitch and a nutter off it, he has the ability to excite even the most mundane of Middlesbrough matches and his off camera antics would keep studio morale on the up even when the bitter Hansen tries to douse it.
MATT LE TISSIER (RW) – A spot kick expert, he is generally spot-on when it comes to crunch time. With a formidable gut, you know he could handle his bitter on the South coast (better than his weathered colleague Paul Merson), and his aptness for the majestic has been carried over from his playing days to the Soccer Saturday live-commentary team, excelling where the mere mortals of Charlie Nickolas and Phil Thompson simply cannot compete.
GUILLEM BALAGUE (LW) – To satiate Sepp Bleater, we’ve rationed the foreign imports to just two, but drawn the cultured penmanship and multi-lingual abilities of Guillem to these shores. He may like to share a bed with Rafa the gaffer at his beloved Liverpool, but as a shrewd tactician with a continental craftiness, he would be in the know for those vital European fixtures and have the tricks up his sleeve to mesmerise the audience with his Catalan control of the mic. GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL.
ANDY GRAY (CF) – He may be a biased bastard but he sure knows a thing or two about the game and can be relied on to have the final astute word. Sky are reportedly throwing 20 grand a week at him and have even introduced that fool Redknapp to whisper sweet nothings in his ear and keep him sweet. Golden Boots, Young Player of the Year and Players’ Player of the Year during his career and a renowned playboy and womanizer off the pitch underline his value to our Pundit XI. Take a bow, son.
MARTIN TYLER (CF) – Like bangers and mash, Torvill and Dean, Kylie and hot pants, the combination of Gray and Tyler makes as much sense as it does quality punditry. Their harmonious collaborations provide perfect symmetry to the football game. As a striking double act for a Commentators XI charity game, in which he scored from an Andy Gray cross, underlines their potency in spearheading this team against all the young pretenders of Setanta and ITV.
DES LYNAM (Manager) – Old Des needs no introducing. His presenting skills span a multitude of formats, fermenting his talents on Match of the Day, before the big eared Lineker filled his boots; a favourite amongst the ladies, young and old, has seen him hold the allure of the feisty Vorderman on Countdown, before Jeff bumped her for a younger model. Similarly to Wilson, an OBE has been his reward for his charismatic performances on the box. And his enigmatic charm, of which Mourinho would be proud, would captivate the press room and inspire the pundit’s dressing room alike. All in a day’s work for Des and his boys.
Comments : Leave a Comment »
Tags: Andy Gray, BBC, Chris Kamara, Commentators, Des Lynam, ITV, Jeff Stelling, Marcel Dessaily, Martin Tyler, Presenters, Pundits, Sky Sports, Soccer AM
Categories : Football, Media, Personal Opinion, Sport, The Press, TV